A letter from 18-year-old me

When you’re deep in an eating disorder, everything in a little fuzzy. So I’m going to blame anorexia for the fact that I didn’t remember my freshman year letter. I’m kidding. But not really, because up until today: I didn’t think I’d written a letter at all.

According to the email I received, every Butler University freshman wrote a letter to their future self during orientation week. The letters were to be saved for senior year, a nostalgic greeting to hopefully inspire the grads to greatness (RELATED: Dear Younger Me).

I picked up that letter today and, through watery eyes, read the hope and encouragement that 18-year-old me wanted to share. I’d like to share an excerpt from the letter:

“Graduation seems like it’s a world away. Right now, I a so homesick and I want to see my family. But God is good- in this hip injury (later diagnosed as a stress fracture), in moving to college and in everything….Hannah, I hope you go and travel and explore your world. Never be complacent with the passions, talents and opportunities God has given you. You lived in fear for so long and I am still trying to rewire that instinct, one that you have hopefully discarded. So whether you work for a running store, magazine or open your own wellness center, let God direct your path. Enjoy the harvest because I am waiting for it now. I am waiting to receive all God has to offer after this desert.”

Woah. Now do you see why I was crying? I remember it all. I remember wondering how I was going to make it through, or if I would ever find “normal.” Reading that letter was such a testament to God’s goodness in my life. I know I harp on this a lot, but there’s a good reason for it: God is SO FAITHFUL.

What’s more, this letter was a great confirmation about the possible direction God wants me to take after college. Namely: To be brave.

I hope you too, will be brave today. Sometimes it takes a reflection like that to remind us how far God has brought us, and how faithful He is to keep bringing us along.

On a side note, I am going to write myself another letter, which I will open in four years. I’d highly encourage you to do the same! Tuck it away or give it to someone who you trust. It’s a great way to tangibly see the progress four years can bring.

Love,

Hannah