I’m a process person, which means I care how things are done. I’m also a belief-oriented person, which means I am passionately for or against just about everything in life.

This naturally firm conviction regarding how things are to be done is tricky. It’s can be a helpful leadership skill, but if I don’t wield it wisely, it’s a downright nuisance.

For example: it’s perfectly reasonable to stand up for noble causes such as the value of human life, female body positivity, and nature conservation & education. Those are three particular topics I get fired up about. But it’s not a good use of anyone’s time if I firmly defend my arguments on why string cheese should be eaten in strings or why your Christmas morning needs to flow in a particular way for optimal efficiency and sentimentality. Sure, my opinions might be correct, but they don’t necessarily matter.

Thus, a valuable part of my twenties thus far has been learning when to stand for my convictions, when to hold my tongue, and—most importantly—when to repent of ranking my thoughts and feelings above God’s.

Did God Mess Up When He Made Me?

One thing I’ve really wrestled with in this regard is: me! Personality quirks aside, there are a lot of things about myself I don’t like—things that aren’t sinful, but just the way God made me to be. And throughout my life, that’s remained my resolute disclaimer whenever I’m told how important it is to treasure the unique identity of each human being. Like, sure, I’m not an accident, but I’m also a little too quirky and abnormal to be made intentionally like this. And it’s not like, in those moments, I’m believing God made a mistake; it’s more like I believe I somehow was a fluke to God’s perfect plan.

These feelings quickly swell into silent critiques and spiral from there. After all, if you were made beautifully in His image, why aren’t you more attractive? Why do you get socially exhausted? Why aren’t godly men attracted to you if you really do “shine the beauty of Christ” like everyone keeps telling you?!

Been there?

What the Bible Says

If so, maybe you’ll resonate with the words in Isaiah 45:9 as I did. Now, I had read this passage many times before. But I’d never looked at different translations prior to a few months ago. When I did, I was floored by how the words are conveyed in the New Living Translation:

“Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’ Does the pot exclaim, ‘How clumsy can you be?’”

“You’re doing it wrong!” How many times have a screamed those words to God, or their counterpart: “Your did it wrong!” Most often, they’ve applied to me—you’re doing it wrong because I’m too weird, too broken, too sensitive, too much of a burden….

But don’t you see? We’re just little bits of clay. We can’t see outside our own little vessel, and we certainly can’t glimpse the divine weaving of the created order—of which we are a part.

My challenge for you (and for me!) is to slide down from the throne of self-hatred you’ve hoisted yourself onto. Because as painful as it is for us to hear, that’s exactly what it is. We make ourselves out to be gods by turning our focus inward and pridefully assuming that our own convictions on how we should have been made are indeed correct.

And unlike my opinion on string cheese, we’re most definitely wrong.

We’re just little bits of clay. We can’t see outside our own little vessel, and we certainly can’t glimpse the divine weaving of the created order—of which we are a part.

God doesn’t make mistakes. Yes, sin has intoxicated our lives with brokenness. Yes, it causes some of us to wrestle with physical, mental, and emotional hindrances we weren’t designed to carry. At the same time, your funny quirks and intricate design were on purpose; all in His good plan. So let’s take our eyes off ourselves and refocus our gaze on our Maker and His plan. That’s when we’ll start to see ourselves in a healthy perspective—as wonderful creations of an incredible God.

Love,

Hannah

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