A Grateful Life Lived

As many of you know, this blog was born out of a desire to share my writing back in 2013. While gratitude remains at the heart of this site, I have grown & changed with each iteration of this blog.

The challenges of the last few years have dramatically impacted who I am; while I aim to share many of those gleanings through writing, the time isn’t always wise. I’ve also felt very drained, confused, & unwilling to manufacture strings of sentences that, in reality, didn’t resonate with me. So I’ve done a lot of personal writing, contemplation, grieving, and prayer. I’ve let myself be an inconsistent writer for the sake of consistent growth. The ground hasn’t settled (Oh how I wish it would!), but I am starting to find the joy and liberty in writing that first enthralled my heart. I am starting to see the color in life—in general—I think.

What’s coming in 2024?

You’d hardly believe me if I claimed to have a clear pathway of and through all that 2024 holds. Similarly, my life, while a little more of a controlled variable than a calendar year, is a wild card for the most part. I don’t know how God will direct me as a woman and a writer. I do know that I aim to listen; intentionally honing my craft for the good of others (it sure blesses me, too). On the broadest level, I can promise you will continue to see authentic, passionate writing that focuses on what it always has: life, faith, mental health, and movement/sport. In more detail, however, I hope to get back to the regular reflections on the word of the year I’ve chosen—I admit that 2023 was a wash so let’s just forget the dismal commitment I made toward that word of the year…

I am a nature girl. Barring sub-zero temps (and sometimes even then), I am up for frolicking outdoors. But that passion doesn’t even scratch the surface (no pun intended) as to why I choose “rooted” as my yearly focus word.

I have tried to establish myself in various identities over the last several years. Unsurprisingly, each one has left me empty.

First, allow me to explain the process. Each year, I choose a word to help me grow in a specific area. But it’s not fair to really say I “choose” (can you imagine? I’d probably have chosen “successful” or “beautiful” at least once). In any case, I pray about the word a good deal. I figure that areas of growth seems to be one of God’s expertise. I won’t bore ya with more than that, but I do want to share why I chose this particular word and how I hope to grow this year as a result.

Rooted Spiritually

According to the Dictionary, to root oneself is to deeply and firmly establish. Simple, yes? But not easy. If I’m honest, I know that I have tried to establish myself in various identities over the last several years. Unsurprisingly, each one has left me empty. Rooting is not enough in and of itself. We have to root ourselves in something of substance.

See, beneath all my roles, accolades, and hobbies: I’m Hannah. I’m not perfect, nor does my worth rest on who I am as a woman, athlete, wife, mental health warrior, writer, daughter, employee, or creative. As I said, I’ve sought value from an elixir of those identities. I’ve tried it, only to come up with a nauseating degree of emptiness.

This year, I want to return to simplicity. The basics. I want to delve further into living out my God-given identity; rooted in who I am rather than what I “produce” on this earth. That necessitates a letting go, as well—a recognition that flitting around like a butterfly might seem fun, but it’s harmful. Jumping from thing to thing (be it a person, achievement, or goal is just as harmful as letting my heart fully rest on “things” in the first place.

Rooting is not enough in and of itself. We have to root ourselves in something of substance

Aside from the spiritual connotation of the word rooted, I also like what it conveys in regard to other areas of my life. Mental health is a prime example. I’ve spent the last year and a half trying to reconnect with my chronically neglected body and brain. Needless to say, it’s going to take a while to unravel two decades of ignoring my body’s signals and damming up any emotion I associate with weakness. It’s going to take time to start getting in touch with those silenced parts of me.

Venturing into this “rooted reality” is scary and it’s worth it.

EXAMPLES OF ROOTING ONESELF

• Taking a spontaneous rest day because my body hurts
• Noticing social anxiety and acknowledging that something feels hard
• Choosing to eat when my brain is foggy and/or I am hungry
• Being curious about self-perception (“Do I dislike my stomach because I really dislike it or do my thoughts reflect some cultural fad/standard?)
• Taking a break during the workday because I am tired and I don’t need to “push through”

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It is both frightening and intense to “root” oneself. As I’ve processed this goal for 2024, I’ve doubted putting it out there at least a dozen times. I question if I have the boldness, authenticity, and against-the-grain stance to really pull it off. I wonder if I’ll just flail as I did with my focus for 2023.

So here I am: transparent and focused. Why? Because that fear, in large part, is why this is necessary. You and I both know how easy it is to float so far that we find we’ve quite drastically sway from our values. It happens, and its both easy and low-effort. You and I weren’t created for “easy,” though. We were created for purpose.

If you have chosen a word or a focus for the year, I’d love to hear what it is. Plus, if you have tips on what helps you stay rooted amid life’s hills and valleys, please share!

As always, I care about you!

Love,

Han